How to Have an Uncomfortable Conversation

As a former people-pleaser and a perfectionist, I did everything in my power to avoid uncomfortable conversations. I was worried I would lose the other person’s respect and love. And I thought it would be easier to twist myself into a pretzel becoming a more “agreeable” version of myself than it would be to have an uncomfortable conversation.

But I’ve learned we just have to have an uncomfortable conversation sometimes. You might be asking what are the nuts and bolts of an uncomfortable conversation? How do you actually do it?

Let’s first look at the ways not to do it.

I used to vomit my feelings on the other person. I didn’t have a structure for the conversation and I normally held my feelings in for too long. The other person would be stunned, because they had no context for where this came from. It was also confusing because it was literally the opposite of my “cool girl” behavior where I tried to be exactly what I thought he wanted.

A successful uncomfortable conversation is not a lecture. It’s not jumping up on a soapbox and proclaiming your opinion as the one and only way. This method is extremely one-sided and leaves no room for the other person to contribute.

Got it? Good. Let’s look at how to have those uncomfortable conversations so they are productive. This is what works best for me, and you should feel free to tweak it to meet your own needs. I encourage people to write down their reflection when preparing for the conversation. It allows you to get everything out of your brain and in a place where you can see it and organize it.

My first step is to prepare yourself with what exactly is bothering you. You can recognize that something is bothering you because you will feel off- it might be low energy, unexplained sadness or anger, it might be thoughts that won’t stop running in your brain. Take some quiet time and sit with the feeling. What is coming up? When did you start feeling this way? Why is it important to you? What do you need to be different?

Next, assess what is your responsibility in the problem. You can’t blame the other person for everything, but you also are not responsibility for everything. That would be over-functioning. Ask yourself, how can I show up fully in my half of this relationship? What needs to be expressed to the other person? Were feelings hurt? Do you need to share a boundary or make a request?

Once you feel like you have a handle on what needs to be said, ask to have the conversation. This gives it a framework, which can feel comforting. Ask the person for a time to talk.

Please avoid accidentally blindsiding the other person with your conversation, and you make sure to have their full attention. It also gives the opportunity to schedule a better time. Yes, I am saying you want to schedule an uncomfortable conversation. You want both people to be able to relax and focus with minimal distractions. It is also helpful to provide a time frame too, so the person knows this isn’t something you intend to drag on into a huge conversation all night long.

This would look like “I have a few things I need to talk about in regard to _______­­­­______. Do you have 10 minutes now or would later be better?”

Now that you are in your conversation, express yourself honestly from your point of view. Avoid pointing fingers. A great way to do this is to use the classic “I feel” statement. For example, let’s say your partner curses so much that it offends you. This looks like “After our conversation the other day, I feel a little angry. I realized that we hit a sensitive area for me. I completely respect your right to use curse words. But may I make a simple request and ask that you not use that language around me? If you’re not able to do this, I will need to leave.”

Let’s break this down.

Acknowledge your feelings. Acknowledging your feelings is part of how you take ownership of your 50% of the relationship. You know those feelings are your responsibility. The negative feelings were an indicator that something was off, and you located the problem. (this is what you did in step one)

Respect the other person’s free will. You will never, ever be able to control another person’s actions. If you show that you respect this, the other person can relax and listen from a more open place.

Make an ask. I like the phrase “May I make a simple request?” The people pleaser in me likes this because it reinforces that I am not asking for something big or unreasonable. You want to be clear about what you are asking from the other person. Be clear and concise.

Set a boundary. If your needs are not met, there is a consequence. You must uphold the boundary as well. If you make a request and your partner does not meet your request on a regular basis, then you must uphold your end of the bargain. Actions have consequences.

There you have it. That’s the structure of how I have an uncomfortable conversation, and why I do it this way. How do you see this applying in your life? Is this useful to you? Reply and let me know! 

Do You Believe in Magic?

I was in Scotland with my family, and we booked a bus tour to the Isle of Skye. The natural beauty is stunning, and it’s everywhere. Like most bus tours, we had a set itinerary with scheduled stops where we could get off the bus and take photos.
 
The day was a typical Scottish fall day. It was quite chilly and drizzly, which made it impossible to get completely warm because you felt constant dampness in the air and on your clothes. We made a stop at Kiltrock, which required a short hike from the bus. As my family and I trudged along, I was suddenly stopped. A man with a French accent told me I was beautiful and insisted on a selfie. I thought I misheard him and made him repeat himself.
 
I couldn’t stop giggling. Sure, it was cheesy. But it also felt fun. And it’s even better with a French accent. His name was Nicholas. His friends were laughing at him, but I didn’t care. We chatted briefly, and he asked to see me later. We tried to coordinate schedules, but our itineraries were set and they just didn't line up. I would be in Inverness when he stayed on Skye. I would be leaving Edinburgh for home on the day he arrived in Edinburgh. We had to part ways without any more than this selfie (below) and his kiss on my hand.
 
What could have happened? In the movie version of my life, Nicholas and I would meet up in a pub, stay up talking all night, and decide that we needed to be in each other’s lives. But I'm not living in a romantic comedy, and I'm not Meg Ryan. There will always be the question of "what if" that lingers in the back of my head.
 
What if I had been travelling solo, which is usually how I prefer to travel for this very reason. What if we actually got to know each other? At least then I would know if he was a complete jerk, which is likely since normal random strangers don’t stop other strangers simply because they are beautiful. What if he hadn’t stopped me at all?
 
For Type A people like myself, we tend to overschedule our lives because having a sense of control makes us feel comfortable. If it’s scheduled, we know what to expect. We know where to be (and who to be because we know what’s expected of us). The problem with overscheduling is that there is no room for magic to come in.
 
There is also an element of wanting to live in the fantasy of "what if" because it's safer. No need to risk getting hurt and heartbroken. No need to be disappointed. 

Often what the universe has in store for us is far beyond what we can conceive for ourselves. And yes, sometimes that involves heartbreak. But when the heart breaks, it heals. And the spot where it heals will be stronger than it was before.
 
But it will never get to show you if you don’t leave some wiggle room and loosen your grip a little bit.
 
Brene Brown said “The universe is not short on wake-up calls. We’re just quick to hit the snooze button.” If you’re looking for a wake up call, this is it. Let go a little bit more today and move a little more in the flow. Where can you relax and take your hands off the steering wheel? Where can you let some magic enter into your life?

Real life is so much better than fantasies of what if. It is just as magical and unexpected, if you give it the chance to show you. 
 
 
I encourage you to share this blog with someone who might also need a little wake-up call as well, someone that needs to see there is magic in possibility.
 

Why All That Pressure?

Have you found yourself feeling really nervous before a date? Stressing out about wearing the perfect outfit, asking the right questions, and acting the right way? 

I think we've all been there. Those pre-date jitters. On one level, they are fun and exciting but on another level they are terrifying. But what are those jitters really about? 

If we take a step back and look at why we're feeling nervous, we realize we are feeling that way because we have an expectation. We are putting a lot of pressure on this one interaction because we are worried it's our only chance at a life-long happy partnership.

When I say it like that it looks pretty silly, right? All this expectation and pressure on just one interaction? Seems ridiculous but we do it ALL the time. 

It's the subject of today's video, and I encourage you to check it out here.

As a side note, I was preparing the email for this week and I realized how strongly this topic parallels to so many other areas of our lives where we create unnecessary pressure. We're trying to make a diamond, when what we really want is a snowflake. Even if you're not dating, I encourage you to watch the video because there might be something useful for you, too. 

Look, I know it can be tough out there in the dating world. it feels like it takes forever to find a somewhat decent guy to actually spend time with on a Thursday night (let alone a guy that's worthy of a weekend date). And then, when we finally get to the date, it seems like a big let down.

I want to help make dating a bit easier for you. That's why I'm doing a free webinar, Why It's Hard to Get a Guy (And What You Can Do About It) tomorrow March 14 at 1pm Eastern Time. 

I'm going to be addressing some of today's issues that are making it harder now to find a guy, plus I'm going to be offering some guidance to shift how women approach the dating landscape to make it so much easier. Everything I teach has been tested and honed by yours truly, and I can't wait to share it! 

You can sign up to attend the free webinar here: https://sarahcurnoles.lpages.co/why-its-hard-webinar

I hope you will join me tomorrow! (and even if you can't be there live, I will be sending a recording afterwards)
 

First Dates Can Be Rough. Take It From Me.

I was the queen of the first date. For most of my twenties, I was great at getting a guy to ask me out for the first date, but I never understood why there wasn’t a second.
 
I’d go out. Engage in witty banter. I would wear my best outfit.  We’d talk about work and our friends and families and what we were passionate about. Usually, there was a goodnight kiss. (And I don’t mean to brag, but I’m a great kisser. I am 100% confident in my kissing abilities.)
 
When he didn’t ask me out for the next date, I felt distraught. I tried so hard to be the person he wanted me to be. I tried to be what I thought he was looking for: the perfect blend of sexy, independent, cute, funny, smart, accomplished, and nurturing.
 
I couldn’t figure it out.
 
All these years later, it’s clear to me what I was doing wrong. I made the same mistake a lot of people make on a date by staying on the surface level of connection. We talked about what we had in common, not about the topics that would actually make a difference. In this week’s video, I talk about how to take that surface level connection and turn it into something that will go deeper and will foster a better connection. It will also help you evaluate if you like the person across from you, and if your values line up.  
 
Check out the video here.

I felt really frustrated when I was trying to figure out why all my dates seemed to fail and never get a relationship off the ground. It reminds me of when my iPhone wouldn’t turn on, so I panicked and took my iPhone to the Genius Bar. I was freaking out. And my Genius was so calm, she methodically went through a checklist of options to fix my phone. I commented “You’re lucky to work here. I bet when this happens to you, you’re cool as a cucumber because you know it can be fixed.” And she said something very wise to me:
 
“No, I’m a mess! When it’s your problem, you can’t see the answer.”
 
It is always going to be easier for a person outside of the situation to be able to breathe, take a look around, and see the possibilities for solutions. We can cultivate this, and that’s why I teach. Because I want to empower women to be their own best guide, and so that they have somewhere to turn when they need someone on the outside to help.
 
I’m going to be offering a free webinar about recognizing and solving one of the biggest dating problems: Why is it so hard to get a guy? In this webinar, I dissect the problem that many women are having with dating right now- there are so many options, but the quality seems to be lacking.
 
And I’m not going to show you a problem without giving you an answer, of course! I will then help women see what they can do to answer the question and actually start finding great guys.

If you’re a single woman who is dating and wants to understand this better, I hope you will join me on Wednesday March 14 at 1pm EST for my free webinar called Why It’s Hard to Get a Guy (And What You Can Do About It). You can register by clicking here.
 
Even if you can’t be there live, only people that are registered will receive the recorded playback. 
 
I’m already jumping out of my seat with all the juicy information I will be delivering to you. I just can’t wait!

How to Prepare to Create Connection

If you haven’t seen it yet, a woman is in her doctor’s office being asked routine questions about any pain she might be experiencing. With each question, the woman downplays her painful experiences, but her inner voice is arguing with her to speak up and tell the truth about how bad it really feels.  In the end, the woman says that it all feels awful.

I was listening to this ad for the hundredth time and an alarm bell went off. This is exactly what happened to me when I was dating all through my twenties and early thirties.

I remember so many of my dates where I was sitting across from a guy, and for whatever reason I lied to him about what I wanted, what I was looking for, or who I am. And every time I lied in order to be more of what I thought he wanted, my inner voice was quietly trying to advocate for what I really wanted. It would whisper “But you’re really looking for a guy that will treat you right and may be interested in marriage someday.” “You are nothing like this.” “He’s not that funny, why are you laughing?”  I twisted myself into a pretzel to try to become exactly what I thought he would want me to be. And then I wondered why I never felt a connection.
 
What I was missing all along was the truth. And I found it by asking myself what I wanted and who I wanted to be. I was preparing for my dates completely backwards.

In this video, I talk about ways to prepare for a date that have nothing to do with how you look on the outside.

https://youtu.be/bOlgXZwA9aE

No one teaches a person to ask these questions before dating. We say vague things like “Love yourself before you love someone else” but we never talk about what it takes to actually love yourself. Asking yourself questions like the ones in the video is the first step to knowing yourself better because you are actually being honest.

This is what I’m all about. Be honest, get clarity, then get what you really want. This is exactly the prep work you need to do to establish if there is a connection with the person across the dinner table from you. Because if you’re not honest and clear, there is too much standing in the way to allow for a connection.

What was your biggest takeaway from the video? What is one question you plan to ask yourself before going on a date? 

Four Things to Learn from the PowerPoint Tinder Guy

Have you heard about this brilliant British 21-year old? This guy used PowerPoint to create a successful Tinder profile and it made me think "Why didn't I think of that?"

He took something that practically everyone does and twisted it to  catch attention and to set himself apart. He looked at the convention of Tinder, where we just post photos and short bios, and he decided to give prospective dates a playful glimpse into what he’s really like.
 
Here’s what we can all learn from him when we are presenting ourselves online, in any format.
 
 

1. Let yourself be quirky and dorky while showing your sense of humor.

I’ve said this before, but dating isn’t about trying to make everyone like you. It’s quite the opposite. It’s actually preferable to have fewer people like you as long as they like you for who you really are. You want to sort as quickly and efficiently as possible, and the people that are not a good fit can exit. You want people to quickly say “No that’s not for me” or “Yes! This person has so many excellent qualities that I’m looking for!”
 
Attraction is so much deeper than looks, but unfortunately we make assumptions based on looks. When I was on Tinder, I had a rule that selfies in a bathroom mirror or in your car was an automatic elimination. I made assumptions about who that person was, even though I could be totally wrong. So you want to be presenting yourself in a way that shows clearly who you really are so people can accurately judge if it is a fit or not. If you're not sure what you're saying nonverbally, ask a trusted friend of the opposite sex to give his opinion.
 
Honesty and authenticity is attractive, even if it is hard to hear the truth or we think that the truth will get us rejected. What Sam is saying (without actually saying it) is that he’s a bit dorky, he values spending time with his friends and family, drinking is still important to him, and he’s looking for someone to have fun with but the future isn’t necessarily clear.
 
 

1. Be ok with being different, bending the rules, and doing things your own way

 
It is hard for us to be different. Instinct says that if we fit in then we will be part of a tribe and we are more likely to survive. However, in this day and age your tribe isn’t necessarily where you live, so you have to intentionally find your tribe. And that probably means you are going to have to be different from everyone else around you.
 
Sam used the visual medium to his advantage and created a visual representation that expressed who he is and what he’s offering to a potential match. Just like any good salesman, he is going to catch your attention first then show you benefits.
 
He tells you right at the beginning that he is going to answer the question “Why you should swipe right” and he delivers. He knows that the reason is deeper than physical attractiveness, a woman needs to be able to picture her life with a guy not just if he is handsome or not. Ask yourself "What do I have to offer?"
 

1. Highlight your strengths, laugh at your weaknesses

You know what I really love about this? He laughs at himself. You immediately know that he’s not taking life or himself too seriously, which makes me feel relaxed immediately.
 
Your sense of humor, honesty, and cleverness are assets. Showing these parts of yourself are not about being perfect, it's about being who you really are with your best friends. When writing your profile, write the way you talk.

This can be a little intimidating because we want to show, not tell. And Sam does this instantly by creating a PowerPoint in the first place. It’s already hilarious, and nerdy. We’re on his side. Now he can use the medium to show what’s great about himself and he can laugh at some of his weaknesses (“not the worst at sex.”) I think it’s great that he comes out and mentions sex in a way that subtly says, “I want this, but there’s more to me than just that.”
 
I love the fake reviews, but I think there is a missed opportunity here. I would love to see some real people (maybe his best friend) actually say something nice about what he brings to the table. I like that he writes, “My friends think I’m funny”  because there is something charmingly self-deprecating about. Plus, it is so much better than simply saying “I’m funny.”  So why not use that to your advantage to highlight something that other people notice about you? What do your best friends say about you?
 
 

1. Always, always, always make ‘em laugh. At least, make him smile.

Smiling will naturally bond the two of you. We can’t help it as humans. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be you.
 
If you’d like, you can borrow this from Joseph Gordon Levitt, who I think is a master at making people laugh.
 
 
What did you think of the PowerPoint Tinder profile? What was your biggest lesson about putting yourself out there? Let me know! 

Lots of love,
Sarah

Seven questions to create clarity

When I shifted my focus to specifically help women have more satisfying romantic relationships, I did a bunch of free sessions with friends. One of them recently reached out to me to share her story about how she is now dating the love of her life thanks to our conversation. 

Her words deeply moved me, and I was so happy to be a part of her process to help her get clarity about exactly what she’s was looking for. She realized that it was more important for her man to have a great heart, not necessarily great abs. She went from feelings  incapable of loving to embracing a man and his life entirely. And all because we got her a little clarity.

So how exactly did she do it, you may be asking yourself. How did she make that big of a shift in just four months? First, she opened herself and gave herself the space to reflect on what she really wanted, and then she committed to it. 

I recently heard in an in an interview with Alison Armstrong that you know when someone is committed when they have a plan B. Someone that wants something so badly, they make sure they have more than one way to get their goal. I really love this idea, and it works in so many ways. But before we get to committing, let’s find out what we are committing to, shall we?

I have seven questions that I will ask just about every client. I’ve found that these questions give you the space and reflection you need to really see yourself so you can find what’s you really want. Grab a journal, write down these questions and give yourself at least half an hour to explore.

1. What goal am I trying to achieve?
2. Why is this important to me?
3. What does it mean if I achieve it?
4. What will my life look like if I achieve my goal?
5. How will I feel when I achieve it?
6. What is at stake if I don’t achieve it? 
7. What is one small step I can take right now to move in the direction of my goal? (Go with your gut, whatever the first answer is, go with it)

These questions get to the heart of your motivations, which is really what drives your actions.  Once you see your answers, you can reflect if that is truly what you want, and if you are taking actions that line up with the result you desire. 

It’s a refining process. Ask the questions, reflect, then check in if it is really true, refine some more.  When you feel a sense of completion or satisfaction, you have found your clarity.

This is different for everyone. In the interview with Alison Armstrong she was talking about women committed to pleasure in the bedroom. Your clarity could be about the type of relationship you want to be in. Or it could be about the impact you want to make in the world. The process is the same for any of your desires.

The next step is to commit 110%. You must go all in. Go so far into “all in” that you will get it no matter what, no matter how many plans you must execute, no matter how long it takes. Have you ever felt that committed before? 

I encourage you you to share your answers with another person that you trust. Maybe you go through the questions together. There isn’t power in being witnessed by another and speaking your desires out loud. It gives new energy and a deeper commitment. 

If you’d like me to witness your commitment, I’m here for you. Reply to this email and share with me what you are committed to,  if you would like to go through the questions with me in a complimentary 30 minute session, I’d love to offer you that gift.

And if you are a single woman desiring to go even deeper in this process to find a relationship that deeply satisfies you, then I have a special gift for you. Go here to get started with my man Magnet Bootcamp very which is a completely free way to go deeper into your desires so you can get the relationship you want.  Click here to sign up and join me: 

https://sarahcurnoles.lpages.co/wildly-attractive

Lots of love
Sarah

Jealousy is up for interpretation

A preface to all my readers: I know that a number of you are happily partnered. The next few weeks are going to be about dating, so it might seem like it doesn’t apply to you. I encourage you to keep reading with a curious mind, because these concepts are useful in other parts of your life. Still with me? Onward.
 
I used to live a personal reoccurring nightmare at these free outdoor concert in Baltimore. Everywhere I looked I could only see couples. Every single cute man was already taken.
 
I would stand in line, and the couple in front of me would be holding hands and sharing giddy excitement. I would go get a beer and look to my right to see a couple cozying up to each other thinking no one else would notice. And then when the music would start, happy couples would sing lyrics to each other or sway together with the rhythm of the music.
 
Dammit. Were there no single men that enjoyed live music?! What was the deal??
 
I remember one time I felt like I had enough. I started walking towards the exit when I watched a drunk woman and her friend trying to “talk” their way into VIP. I paused to watch with amusement and noticed another guy and his friend doing the same thing. So, I struck up a conversation. To my surprise, we had a lot in common.
 
Since then, I have been seeing things with new eyes. I noticed that the emotion I felt when I observed the happy couples was jealousy. And I believe that jealousy is merely a signal to something that we are truly desiring but don’t yet have for ourselves.
 
We often interpret jealousy as a negative emotion. I see it as a clue. So instead of letting it take me down into a dark and angry place, I chose to send some happiness towards the couple and silently thank them for showing me something that I want.
 
This little mind trick is a subtle way that I shifted my thinking away from “All the good guys are taken” to clarifying my desires. I look more closely at the couple that I’m envious of and I wonder why I feel envious. What do they have that I am longing for?
 
I’ll be honest, this was really hard to shift at first. It took time and practice, and a lot of messing up. But making this shift from the inside and then working out has made a huge difference. And that’s what I’m all about.
 
I’m not really interested in merely giving tips and hacks to life. I am about getting deep, looking at the roots and making shifts at that level so that the changes that are useful stick. That’s why I created my new course that I am really stoked about.
 
Wildly Attractive is not just dating tips and how to understand men advice. It’s about creating lasting change to help you master dating so you attract the right man into your life and you can spot him a mile away. This course not only helps women to understand men better so they have an advantage in the dating world, but they also will learn more about themselves so they are showing up as their best version. 

Here's some feedback I received recently: "You need to know that my conversation with you is what made this guy happen...I needed to voice what it was I was looking for, and what I needed for myself, and you gave me a platform to do that. Thanks for your questions and for what you're doing.”
 
If you’re dating and you want to get on the list to hear about when the course is launching, you can sign up here.
 
If you’re partnered but you have a friend that would love some dating guidance, send her my way! A friend of my friend is a friend of mine.
 
As always, I'm here to help you make shifts so you can light up from the inside and shine outward. We're in this together. Thanks for your support, and your encouraging words. 
 
Big hugs, 
Sarah

PS. I'm only going to be offering some special bonuses for Early Birds who sign up on the email list before Friday February 9. If you want to be in on it, sign up here: https://sarahcurnoles.lpages.co/wildly-attractive

Let me show you what a date with me is like...

A few years ago, I went out with a guy I met at work. He checked all the boxes. Handsome? Check. Smart? Check? Passionate about something in his life? Check. The list goes on, and I thought I hit the jackpot.
 
After two or three dates, my brain drifted from the present moment and flash forwards to the future. Planning future dates about how much fun we can have together and the places we can visit. I imagine him meeting my family and friends, and I imagine how well he’d fit in. While my imagination was running wild, back in the present moment I sensed him starting to pull away. I was sensing that he has doubts. So, I doubled down, and tried to invest more by showing him the best that I got. I show him how fun, sexy, and accomplished I am. I tried to invite him to a cool event in the city that I thought he’d be interested in, and he doesn’t even reply. So, I tried harder. I would send a funny text with a photo. I get into panic mode because I was thinking that no one else in the world could possibly check all the boxes in the way that he does. The harder I tried, the more he pulled away.
 
I can laugh about my mistakes now, but at the time I really thought that was how it worked. If I tried harder, he would recognize my effort and reward me by bringing me more into his world.
 
I was suffering from a severe case of Scarcity Thinking. And up until very recently, I didn’t even know that it was possible to have Scarcity Thinking in relationships because I thought it only applied to money troubles. But no, this sneaky saboteur pops up in all kinds of areas in our life.
 
In our love life, scarcity thinking shrinks the entire world of 7 billion people to just what is immediately in front of you and makes us think this is our only option. With the guy I was dating, instead of seeing all the possibilities I convinced myself that there is only one. I invested completely in this one option, put all my hopes and dreams there, and struggled desperately to ensure a payoff that never came.
 
Scarcity feels grabby and desperate. It feels panicked. It’s a ticking time bomb, with a deadline and pressure. And to me, it feels like a heavy sinking anchor that is pulling me down deep into dark murky waters. It is very different from when a happy couple in a healthy relationship says to each other “Sure there are millions of possibilities, but I choose you as the one I want to spend time with.” Even though they are choosing one person, they are recognizing all the possibilities of what could be.
 
The opposite of scarcity is abundance, where we see all the possibilities. Abundance feels open and free. It is light and buoyant, like expansive calm ocean and blue skies with a bright sun. When we are in abundance in relationship to love we are actually putting our own needs first and focusing on getting our needs met. It is looking at the relationship through the lens of “I know what I need, and can I find that here? Because if I can’t find it here, there are plenty of other options.”
 
In my experience, changing thinking into abundance starts first with gratitude. When I feel like I need to get out of scarcity, I pause to take a moment to reflect on what I have to be grateful for. Scarcity and gratitude cannot exist in the same thought, and usually gratitude wins out.
 
It may be as simple as being grateful for my friends and family who love me for me. It may be recognizing that there is a whole lot of sunshine outside, and wow it feels good. My challenge to you is to catch your scarcity thinking when it happens (in any context), and think of three things that you have a lot of that you can be grateful for – and it can be any three things! It can be feeling grateful for a lot of blue because you own a lot of blue clothing and it makes you feel good! You can be grateful for a lot of cold wind because then you get to wear your favorite sweater and scarf.
 
For me today, I am grateful for Amazon Music because I have so much music at my fingertips to match my mood. I am grateful for old friends that pop up in random bars that I didn’t expect to see. And I am grateful for the fleece blanket currently keeping my cozy as I type.
 
Your turn. What are three things you are grateful for? Comment and tell me. And after you write them down, notice if you feel any different.

My Manifesto- A Work In Progress!

Anyone that knows me knows that I have a big vision for myself. I want to make a huge impact in this world, and I want to help by empowering other to light up from the inside out so they can go do the work that they are on the planet to do. 

I wanted to share with you the Manifesto I have been working on to guide me and my business as I move forward. These are the truths that I believe and guide me as I move forward.

I hope that they resonate with you on some level, and inspire you to create your own personal manifesto. It felt really good to put this down on paper. You can read it here or watch the video if you want to see me reading it. 

Mind you, it's not all pretty yet. My graphic designer doesn't even know that I was working on this. And words are probably going to change a lot, but I wanted to show you this part of my process so you can see where I am, right now.

Speaking of where I am right now... I am also in the middle of creating my next course, which will be for single women that want to be better at dating. It's called Wildly Attractive, and if that speaks to you (or someone you know) you can go here and get more info.

Enjoy the video of me reading my new manifesto, or you can enjoy reading the linked document. I'd love to hear your thoughts and reactions, so please hit reply and tell me your big takeaways!

Also, if you know someone that may be inspired by this, would you please forward this and encourage them to sign up to join the mailing list at www.sarahmcurnoles.com?

Many thanks and lots of love,
Sarah