Why All That Pressure?

Have you found yourself feeling really nervous before a date? Stressing out about wearing the perfect outfit, asking the right questions, and acting the right way? 

I think we've all been there. Those pre-date jitters. On one level, they are fun and exciting but on another level they are terrifying. But what are those jitters really about? 

If we take a step back and look at why we're feeling nervous, we realize we are feeling that way because we have an expectation. We are putting a lot of pressure on this one interaction because we are worried it's our only chance at a life-long happy partnership.

When I say it like that it looks pretty silly, right? All this expectation and pressure on just one interaction? Seems ridiculous but we do it ALL the time. 

It's the subject of today's video, and I encourage you to check it out here.

As a side note, I was preparing the email for this week and I realized how strongly this topic parallels to so many other areas of our lives where we create unnecessary pressure. We're trying to make a diamond, when what we really want is a snowflake. Even if you're not dating, I encourage you to watch the video because there might be something useful for you, too. 

Look, I know it can be tough out there in the dating world. it feels like it takes forever to find a somewhat decent guy to actually spend time with on a Thursday night (let alone a guy that's worthy of a weekend date). And then, when we finally get to the date, it seems like a big let down.

I want to help make dating a bit easier for you. That's why I'm doing a free webinar, Why It's Hard to Get a Guy (And What You Can Do About It) tomorrow March 14 at 1pm Eastern Time. 

I'm going to be addressing some of today's issues that are making it harder now to find a guy, plus I'm going to be offering some guidance to shift how women approach the dating landscape to make it so much easier. Everything I teach has been tested and honed by yours truly, and I can't wait to share it! 

You can sign up to attend the free webinar here: https://sarahcurnoles.lpages.co/why-its-hard-webinar

I hope you will join me tomorrow! (and even if you can't be there live, I will be sending a recording afterwards)
 

Seven questions to create clarity

When I shifted my focus to specifically help women have more satisfying romantic relationships, I did a bunch of free sessions with friends. One of them recently reached out to me to share her story about how she is now dating the love of her life thanks to our conversation. 

Her words deeply moved me, and I was so happy to be a part of her process to help her get clarity about exactly what she’s was looking for. She realized that it was more important for her man to have a great heart, not necessarily great abs. She went from feelings  incapable of loving to embracing a man and his life entirely. And all because we got her a little clarity.

So how exactly did she do it, you may be asking yourself. How did she make that big of a shift in just four months? First, she opened herself and gave herself the space to reflect on what she really wanted, and then she committed to it. 

I recently heard in an in an interview with Alison Armstrong that you know when someone is committed when they have a plan B. Someone that wants something so badly, they make sure they have more than one way to get their goal. I really love this idea, and it works in so many ways. But before we get to committing, let’s find out what we are committing to, shall we?

I have seven questions that I will ask just about every client. I’ve found that these questions give you the space and reflection you need to really see yourself so you can find what’s you really want. Grab a journal, write down these questions and give yourself at least half an hour to explore.

1. What goal am I trying to achieve?
2. Why is this important to me?
3. What does it mean if I achieve it?
4. What will my life look like if I achieve my goal?
5. How will I feel when I achieve it?
6. What is at stake if I don’t achieve it? 
7. What is one small step I can take right now to move in the direction of my goal? (Go with your gut, whatever the first answer is, go with it)

These questions get to the heart of your motivations, which is really what drives your actions.  Once you see your answers, you can reflect if that is truly what you want, and if you are taking actions that line up with the result you desire. 

It’s a refining process. Ask the questions, reflect, then check in if it is really true, refine some more.  When you feel a sense of completion or satisfaction, you have found your clarity.

This is different for everyone. In the interview with Alison Armstrong she was talking about women committed to pleasure in the bedroom. Your clarity could be about the type of relationship you want to be in. Or it could be about the impact you want to make in the world. The process is the same for any of your desires.

The next step is to commit 110%. You must go all in. Go so far into “all in” that you will get it no matter what, no matter how many plans you must execute, no matter how long it takes. Have you ever felt that committed before? 

I encourage you you to share your answers with another person that you trust. Maybe you go through the questions together. There isn’t power in being witnessed by another and speaking your desires out loud. It gives new energy and a deeper commitment. 

If you’d like me to witness your commitment, I’m here for you. Reply to this email and share with me what you are committed to,  if you would like to go through the questions with me in a complimentary 30 minute session, I’d love to offer you that gift.

And if you are a single woman desiring to go even deeper in this process to find a relationship that deeply satisfies you, then I have a special gift for you. Go here to get started with my man Magnet Bootcamp very which is a completely free way to go deeper into your desires so you can get the relationship you want.  Click here to sign up and join me: 

https://sarahcurnoles.lpages.co/wildly-attractive

Lots of love
Sarah