But What Will My Friends Say?

Have you ever tried to march to the beat of your own drummer, but when your friends reacted with disgust, worry, or anger you abandon everything? Instead you try to find the drumbeat that everyone else hears. Does this sound familiar?

You are not alone. I do it all the time. I would say it is one of the contributing factors to why I had so many bumps in my dating life. I was quick to abandon my own preferences and needs and I tried to become what I thought my romantic interest wanted. And it is no surprise that all of these relationships ended with confusion and frustration. 

Why do we care so much about what people think? Even when I say I don’t care, there is still a part of me that cares.

Thanks to technology we are more connected that ever. It is both a positive and a negative. It is really great to connect with people you haven’t seen in ages and it’s an easy way to send a message to someone.  

Have you heard about the research that looks at what social media does to the brain? And I’m not just talking about just the over-hyped comparison of social media and cocaine.

Yes, social media sets off the same reward sensors in the brain as cocaine and sugar. The brain gets flooded with dopamine every time someone gives us a heart on Instagram. It makes us feel liked and connected.

Don’t get me wrong. These aren’t bad things. We as human beings love to feel connected! It’s how we survived when we lived in caves. It’s how we survive now in this world that is changing so quickly. We survive because we are connected to others.

But this same need for connection drives us to behave unlike ourselves. We make choices so that we fit in, so that other people like us, so that we are one of the herd.

Martha Beck calls it the Social Self. The Social Self is the one that drives you to do the things that will make you a part of the crowd. The Social Self drives you to do things like see the movie that everyone is talking about, drink at parties (even when you really don’t want to), or stay at the boring 9 to 5 job that you hate but keep for… some reason that you’re not really sure about.

The Social Self worries about what your friends will say. Your Social Self worries that you won’t fit in, that people will talk negatively about you, that you’re not cool enough. Your Social Self is driven by these dopamine-charged boosts that we get when we have meaningful connection. Because your Social Self is trying to make sure you can survive in this world.

But we don’t live in caves anymore. And social media can work for our Social Self or for the natural, Wild Self. And we get to decide how to use Social Media and which Self we want to Nurture.

Martha Beck calls this other half the Essential Self. The Essential Self is the part inside of you that is purely yours. The part of you that is just in tuned with your deepest desires, needs, and wants. It marches to the beat of your drum. The Essential Self is talking to you when you decide to dance (even if no one else is), you take a nap in the sun in the afternoon, or you take a walk in the woods at lunchtime.

The Essential Self truly does march to the beat of its own drum. It doesn’t care what anyone else thinks. It only wants to do what it wants to do.

Here is the really cool thing. Even though the Essential Self doesn’t care what other people think, and it only does what it wants to do, it will attract other people that agree. It will actually attract better people, more agreeable, and more fanatic and loyal people.

The idea is that like attracts like. And if we are being true to our Essential Self then people that are like us will find us and walk with us. If like attracts like and we are following the social self, it isn’t the natural fit for our soul. The connections aren’t as deep, not as meaningful.

If we choose to show up authentically on our social media and share the things that feel like it is truly who we are deep down, the people we will meet and connect with are going to be stronger connections.

When we ask ourselves “What would my friends think?” we are thinking with our Social Self. If we worry about what our friends are thinking, we are not making the deep soul connections that we could be making if we listened to our Essential Self. The Essential Self thinks “What do I think?” and it follows.

Where are you thinking with your Social Self? Where can you shift your thinking to ask yourself about your own guidance instead of asking what others think?

Mastering Learning the Hard Way

If colleges gave degrees in learning things the hard way I would have my Masters and be on my way to a Phd. My minors would be in stubbornness and mistake making. At least that would give me a piece of paper to frame to show something for all these mistakes and lessons learned. Right now, all I have is some wisdom that I am trying to live each day.

Since I don’t have a physical degree, I am going to write some of the lessons down so that they are in print, I can incorporate them on a deeper level, and hopefully they will also be useful for you.

The biggest lesson that I am still practicing on a daily basis is where to turn for guidance. I used to be a person that devoured books, courses, quotes, podcasts, or wisdom from friends in order to make my decisions. I used to think that the answers were out there. That everyone else was given a magical key that had all the symbols and their meanings and could tell me what I was supposed to do. I thought all these people who wrote books were special, that they had something that I didn’t because they had this book in print. Someone came along and bopped them on the head and marked them as #blessed or smart and that I had to learn from them.

I spent who knows how much money on courses and mentors and books and videos that I thought would share some insight that I needed to be better. All the while, I was looking at myself as not enough: not smart enough, not talented enough, not networked enough, not wise enough. I thought that I needed more books or more knowledge or more things to give me the answers.

Can you see the big “but” coming?

BUT that is truly all an illusion. What I learned, the hard way of course, was that there is no magical expert or magic wand to make someone more special than anyone else. Each one of us has special gifts and it is up to each person to bring their gifts to the world. You are your own expert.

I could give credit to the numerous teachers that helped me find this wisdom, because it was almost like I needed permission to do the thing that I already knew. I was getting tired of asking everyone else for advice on what I needed to do. I realized that everyone is just giving advice through the filter of their own experiences.

When I had a relationship fall apart, I realized I couldn’t ask anyone else what I should do. No one could answer that question. I had to hear what my heart was saying. I could ask people for support, but they would never be able to tell me what was right or wrong.

That relationship ended up not working out, but if I hadn’t listened to my heart and given it my best shot I would probably still be wondering what if? I would wonder if there was something that I hadn’t tried and if that would have been the thing to make it all better. Not that there was anything, but that’s how my brain works. It is always looking for how to make things better.

I’ve been practicing this for the last year and a half. Turning to myself before turning to anyone else. I still listened to podcasts, mentors, coaches, books, and courses but they are playing a different role in my life. I use them for research to inspire me to see what is possible in this gorgeous life we have. I use them to keep me thinking positively. And I use them for interesting conversations, I’m listening to more fiction and humor than I ever have in the past.

Where are you turning to outside sources to save you? What can you do to learn more from yourself?

How To Hire a Life Coach

I hear a lot of questions about what it means to be a life coach and how does someone go about hiring a coach. I decided to put everything right here. If I missed anything, please leave a comment and ask your question! 

What is a life coach?

Simply put, a life coach helps you create focus in your life to achieve the things you want. They help keep you mentally fit and strong so you perform at your best and show up as your best self in your every day life.

Think about fitness. Can a person workout and eat healthy foods on their own? Sure. Lots of people do. I go through periods of time when I am doing it alone.

But when I have a personal trainer or a health coach to help me make better choices, to push me to do stuff I don't want to do, and to stick to a regimen, my results improve. I go to the next level of my health. Maybe I would have gotten there on my own, but I got there a lot faster with help. An outsider perspective can also see the things that I can't. It's a lot harder to see things when it hits so close to home.

How do I know if I need one?

For most people, they have an internal hunch, like a whispering, that says "hey maybe you should check that out." Usually that hunch is pointing you in the right direction and I personally teach people to follow their hunches more often. Instead, what most people do is they try to find reasons not to listen to the hunches. But I digress.

A life coach might be useful for you if you feel stuck in one area in your life- maybe family or relationships, career, passion, money, health, or your relationship with yourself. Many life coaches have specialities, like a health coach or a business coach, but there are just as many that have a wide base of knowledge that can help in a variety of areas. Besides, you would be surprised how connected this are. A shift in your relationship to your health could actually also bring up issues that you have with your family.  The right life coach for you can help with these things.

How do I pick a life coach?

Check out their information online! Many coaches have gotten very dpsaavy with putting good content out for free so that they can serve a lot of Peale and also it let's potential clients get to know the coach. Sign up for their mailing list. Read their blog or watch their YouTube channel. Do you like his or her personality? Are you resonating with what he or she is saying? Do you want to know more?

Also, what are the practicalities? Do you meet in person or by phone or Skype?

Another great option is to sign up for a consultation call. Every life coach I know or have worked with offers a consultation call so you can get to know each other. Just like dating, you don't want to enter into a committed relationship without getting to know the other person and making sure you are a great fit. Use this session to talk about what in particular is bothering you and ask the important questions about how to hire a life coach.

Sessions with your coach won't always be easy, and you won't always end them feeling better. In fact, sometimes feeling unsettled and upset is the best way to spark you to make real change in your life. You don't necessarily need a life coach that will always be your peppy cheerleader, but you do need a life coach that will see you, hear you, and understand you. This person will be in your corner, your ally, but not your friend. It's an important distinction. Choose the person that makes you feel seen, heard, and understood and that you trust to get you to where you want to go.

The 5 Second Rule

A catchy title, right? I thought so when I watched an interview with Mel Robbins, author of The 5 Second Rule. 

The tag line is that you can change your life in 5 seconds. It's simple, actionable, and it works.

Think about it. We change our lives all the time, one decision at a time. We choose vegetables or ice cream at dinner. We choose to spend time on our resume or LinkedIn or we watch YouTube videos of cats. 

And maybe you think that is baloney. We make lots of decisions that don't have a big impact. We take a new way home from work, or we go to spin class instead of going for a run. On the surface those things don't seem to have that big of an impact.

But here is the thing that I find fascinating, and something that really hit home when I read the book. Even the mundane choices have an impact on your brain. 

What I really loved about The 5 Second Rule was that Robbins includes a lot of information about how the brain works when we are in fear and stress. 

And let me tell you, I really love understanding the brain. It feels like a game to me. How can I understand the rules of the game so that I can work this to my advantage. 

Before I get into what I learned, here is a little bit about Mel Robbins. Mel is an ordinary person that created some extraordinary opportunities for herself. She doesn't really talk about it in the book so much, but she does discuss it in interviews. She worked for CNN and hustled to work on a number of TV shows. It sounds pretty awesome to me, but apparently that life is quite hard. Money isn't just rolling in, it all depends on it getting picked up and being a hit with the network. And she had very little say in what she worked on. 

She is also very open in interviews about the financial difficulties she had with her family. This makes it seems really relatable. She's just like us- she had money problems even though she was trying to make something of herself! She talks about her anxiety and depression and how this simple tool helped her (and her kids who also have anxiety) pull herself out.

Here's how the 5 Second Rule works. When you feel an impulse to take action, you need to take that action before you reason yourself out of doing anything. The naturally habit is to create all kinds of reasons not to do something. Our brain would rather us remain in inaction. It seems like the safer way to remain safe. It's our reptilian brain doing what it needs to do to keep us alive.

But the problem is that most of the time our safety is not in danger. Introducing ourselves to a cute guy or girl, going to the gym, pitching an idea to your boss is not life or death. It just seems like it is in our brain. 

So how do we stop this thinking and get into taking the action that we need to take? Robbins says we simply need to do a countdown and then launch into action. 5- 4- 3- 2- 1 GO. 

Simple, right? And strangely effective. Sure there is some brain science that backs up why it works but the point is that it works.

Test it for yourself. Tomorrow set your alarm for 15-30 minutes earlier. When it goes off, you will probably not want to get out of bed. You won't feel like doing it. But when that alarm goes off, try counting down 5- 4- 3- 2- 1 and LAUNCH yourself out of bed. No thinking, just act. 

I bet if you do the countdown and then act, you will see yourself shifting. It's a small win, and then you can build from there. 

It's a fantastic, simple strategy and a simple book with lots of actionable information. It's a quick read, especially if you are good at skimming. I like good stories scattered into my self-help books but there were just too many examples of Tweets and other people's stories for my taste. But the information is still useful and potentially life changing if you actually take the small actions and use the momentum from those wins to keep going.

Lessons From The Horses: Part Three

Before arriving, I joked that I didn't care that I would end up smelling like horse shit and that I would be spending a lot of time with the shovel as long as I got time to be around the horses. I even packed a pair of pants that I planned to wear as work pants and then I could trash them or mail them home.

I would make these jokes because I wanted to ease the tension that I always felt when I told people I would be working for a free place to stay. People would get really uneasy around the idea. They would say that's not what they would want to do for their trip, or that it sounded like a lot of work, or that it sounded really unpleasant. All I could see was an opportunity to learn a different way of life and to be around these animals that I didn't have at home. Besides, museums get old eventually. I like being of service, being useful.

The other day I was given the task to shovel all the shit.  Normally I just do the stalls for two to three horses and they have hired help that does the big pens where the other 10 horses are. But this week, the hired help couldn't make on elf her days and the work needs to be done.

So there I am, shoveling for two hours, and it never occurs to me once to think that this smells bad orbtat it sucks or that I shouldn't be doing this. The thought never happens. I focus on my task and make it a game in my head. 

I analyze what I have to do and try to be as efficient as possible. I try different ways of working. I see how quickly I can fill a wheel barrow.

So here I am. One week in, and one week to go and I actually wish I was staying longer. Staying longer to shovel hay and shit and be in the tiniest town you can imagine. And everything is in German and I don't speak the language.

Doesnit have moments that suck and smell bad? Yes. My muscles are sore. I was on a train the other day and I realized that I am the person on the train that stinks. I smell like horse. And I don't think I will ever forget the smell of bad hay. It. Is. Pungent.

But overall, I am incredibly grateful to be here, to be working, to be a part of a family. And the horse shit is going to be there today and tomorrow and the day after. It's just a part of life. I'm ok with that. 

Lessons From The Horses: Part Two

Did you know a horse's brain is about the size of a walnut!?

Because their brain is so small, they adapted to have extremely sensitive mirror neurons and pick up on feelings incredibly easily. This allows them to sense nearby predators so they can get to safety. 

Mirror neurons allow you to sense what is happening in another being.  Humans have them. We often shut them down or override them. Most of us have the feeling of when our best friend or partner is sharing a story that is extremely painful, and we feel the same pain. Often with people we are really sensitive to we will mirror our body language with the other person. This happens naturally, not on purpose.  (Believe me, I've tried to force it with someone on a date. It still ends with us parting ways at the end of the night!)

Scientists are still researching exactly how this works, but if you want to see it in action just get in front of a horse.

Last night a new foal came to the farm. She was anxious and loud when she arrived, and didn't follow her guide like the other horses do. I remember listening to all her noise and hearing how anxious she sounded.

This morning, I needed to clean her pen. I needed to move her from one pen to another.  I decided I would lay some ground work. Every time I passed her as I delivered food to all the horses I would take a moment to connect. I talked in baby talk and soothing tones. She came to me and let me pet her nose and neck.

I thought this meant we were good. The problem with that sentence was that I "thought."

The time came to move. I got the neck strap and she let me put it on. It felt like she even helped me get it in the right place.  I continued to pet her and talk. The time came to move, and I could feel my heart beat quicken.  The crazy thing is that it wasn't my heart beat, I picked up her nervousness.

How did I know? I've been doing some practice for the last six months noticing how I feel. I've noticed that I quite easily pick up other people's energies, and I have to make sure I stay clean with my own energy. Sometimes I realize I am feeling bad, but it wasn't because something bad happened to me. I picked up someone else's feelings and took it on myself. I had to tell myself that wasn't mine, and I had to release it.  I cut cords, and will post resources about that, and let it go.  

So when I noticed Rd was racing I knew that wasn't mine. But I panicked a little. I wasn't sure what to do. I went back to the soothing baby talk, telling her that it's all ok. My energy probably felt really icky. It felt like I was trying to skip over the feelings and make it better fast because I needed her to do something. The foal backed away from me. 

I tried again. I pursued to make contact. She backed up again. I noticed she didn't have much farther to go until she got to the corner and I definitely did not want a horse to feel cornered, because who knows what kind of defensive action she would take. I decided to leave the pen, finish my chores and ask for help.

My host admitted she was also a little scared, and asked her husband it help. He is a ferrier (he puts horseshoes on horses), and is used to calming horses. 

Here's what he taught me:

Establish contact with your hands. The warmth and touch from your hands is important. It should be firm and kind, working your way down the neck towards the leg. Do not rush this. Keep doing this until you feel connected. 

Be the leader. Be strong, be confident, establish trust. If you send nonverbal messages that you are trustworthy then the horse will trust you. 

Picture what you want and focus on it. If you want the horse to go to the pen, think about going to that pen. (I confused the horse because I was thinking "Why isn't she following me? Why is she backing away, why is she staying?")

What takeaways did you get from my mistakes with the foal?

Lessons From The Horses: Part One

Work smarter not harder 

I'll admit it. I am often so anxious to get started and complete my tasks that I don't always work in the smartest or most efficient ways. I see what the end goal is, and I just start taking steps to get there.

But sometimes my way of getting to my end goal might involve walking or crawling when I could just take the bus.

One of the first assignments I got here on the farm was to feed the horses breakfast. I was shown how to do it once, I helped do it with someone once and then I was on my own. I just did the best I could and paid attention to the horses for signals if I did it right.

When I showed some hesitancy, one of my hosts decided to go with me. He watched as I started to move the hay around and noticed I did it by hand. He taught me to use the fork so I didn't have to bend over quite so much. He advised it was always better to take care of my back.

I told him it was the idea to "work smarter not harder." And he said "Exactly! Use the tools you have."

I now chant "work smarter not harder" as I do my chores. It keeps me focused so that I don't get casual and sloppy. I try to stay aware and in the moment to avoid getting casual and careless. I'm constantly looking for better ways to do things. Is there an easier way?

That works on so many levels. What tools do you have that you're not using? What tools do you need to do your work easier? Could there be an easier way to do things in your life?

Soeaking of tools and easier ways, I traveled only with my iPad for this trip. It was light and multi-purposed. Because of that I am having trouble putting pictures in these posts. If anyone hasn't tips, please let me know. Otherwise I will keep trying and hopefully will figure it out soon!

How To Beat Jet Lag

I have a fierce vendetta against jet lag. I firmly believe one does not need to suffer badly.

Usually I only travel from the east coast to the west coast of the United States. My first time back from California was really rough. I remember falling asleep on my couch and passing out for an entire afternoon. 

When I went to Scotland in August, I knew I had to hit the ground running in order to get ready to participate in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. I made it my mission to research the best ways to avoid jet lag and what actions a person can take to prevent it. I dont know which of these methods actually work so I'm going to share them all. I'm sure with more travel I will try things and figure out a more streamlined process. 

But for now this is what I got!

1. Start drinking green juice 3-4 days before your flight. The extra nutrients from the veggies really help support my immune system. It also makes me feel naturally more awake and alert.

I also read you should start going to bed earlier to get closer to the time zone you will be in. I found this really hard in practice, but if you can do it more power to you.

2. Really hydrate. I mean, really, really hydrate. Most of us think we are drinking enough water but the air on a plane is really drying. It will make you feel more tired and worn down. Also, you won't have that many opportunities to get water on the plane other than the little bottles of water they handout. But it's never enough.

Water keeps your cells fresh and your brain clear. What could be more useful than a clear brain when you are traveling?!! Hydrate before your flight and after you land. I always feel like I am drinking water constantly when I land, but it really does help.

3. Skip the caffeine and alcohol. Before my trip I try to scale back on my caffeine intake. Caffeine is also dehydrating and it revs up our system. (That's why we love it, right?!) We want our body to function on a normal level, and extra caffeine gets in my way. I still have a cup of coffee in the morning, maybe a cup of tea in the afternoon. Granted, I am a coffee lover so this is a decrease for me!

l also scale back on alcohol. Alcohol can make my stomach feel uneasy as it processes. It is like my system has to work harder to process the alcohol, and I don't want it to have to do that while I'm in the air. Alcohol also makes me feel dehydrated (see above!).

Skippinng coffee and alcohol will also help you get some sleep on the plane. This can't always be helped since it is an unusual place to be restin, but try to get as many Zzz's on the pane as possible! 

4. Once I land, I try to get on the local eating schedule immediately. This helps my body adjust to the new time zone.

I recently traveled from Washington D.C. to Munich, Germany. The flight was left at 5:30pm and arrived 7:30 AM local time. Munich is 6 hours ahead, so hen I landed it was actually 1:30 AM back home. Regardless, I made sure to eat something for breakfast. Even though it was just yogurt and fruit, it was a step towards adjusting my body. 

5. No nap! Get your body moving instead! More than anything, I wanted a nap around 1:00 PM.I almost fell asleep on the subway, actually. Luckily, I scheduled a walking tour of Munich. I used to think walking tours were for the weak, the people that didnt rproperly do their research. 

I have since changed my mind. Walking tours (especially the free ones) are the best way to get to know the area. And it kept me moving and active and engaged. Walking around helped me get my bearings in a new city, and it helped me plan what I would do while I visited. 

Taking a nap will only extend your jet lag by confusing your body about when the proper time to go to sleep really is. Feel free to go to bed earlier than normal on your first night. More than likely you will sleep a few extra hours to make up for those you lost. I slept for almost 12 hours when I finally went to sleep in Munich.

6. Bonus tip: Fiber. I swear by fiber when I arrive. Maybe it's because traveling makes me feel stopped up and fiber helps keep things moving. I alway take advantage of fruits and vegetables I find (usually at a market) because I don't know about you but I often end up eating sandwiches when I'm in a new place. Eating lots of fiber keeps me feeling better all around. 

 What are your tips and tricks for beating jet lag when you travel? Let me know.

The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

If I had to guess what my most impactful book of the year would be I would definitely have The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks in the running. That is how powerful and helpful it is. (get your Oscar acceptance speech ready, Mr. Hendricks)

I picked this up because the book kept coming up in podcast interviews I was hearing. And now that I finished it, I don't know why I haven't heard about it more. I certainly could have used this book a year ago, two years ago, ten years ago. But, everything comes in its own perfect timing.

Hendricks is a psychologist and noticed a pattern in his patients. When they would finally reach a level of happiness that they wanted, something would seem to sabotage that happiness. We all know what this is like. We get a raise at work, and suddenly the water heater breaks and we have to replace it. We meet the love of our life, but we can't stop bickering and picking fights. We win the lottery and spend it all in three years and wind up broke despite it all.

Hendricks identifies this as an Upper Limit Problem, otherwise called an ULP for silliness (it rhymes with "gulp"). We each have set our own limit internally of how much goodness we think we are worthy of receiving. When we receive more than we think we deserve we do something to sabotage the happiness and knock us back down to "normal." The underlying feeling is "I am not a perfect being, therefore I do not deserve wonderful things."

And it's true. I have never met a person who didn't have some version of the "I'm not good enough" story. Somewhere in our lives we think we're not enough to deserve X. Who knows where we have all picked up this story, because if Anita Moorjani taught me anything I know that this story isn't true. 

The three main areas of our life where we sabotage ourselves are finances, success and love. It's no coincidence that these are also areas where we humans tend to gather a lot of our confidence and self-worth. 

From Hendricks' experience, the way to turning around the problem is simply opening your eyes to the problem in the first place. The willingness to see the cause of a problem instantly opens up to the possibility of it going away. I know this sounds like magic and that it is too easy to be possible. If you think it is too easy, I direct you to the review about The Tapping Solution. Sometimes easy can be the answer. 

The brain certainly has a unique way of solving problems to keep us all safe. When we perceive happiness as being unsafe because we've never experienced it before, then we sabotage it. If we are willing to see things differently and open up to the possibility, the brain creates the space for it to happen. Being able to ask yourself "Am I willing to see this differently? Am I willing to see this as a problem that I made up?" provides the space that the brain needs to move forward to allow the happiness to flow.

A simple meditation that he offers in the book has been a powerful partner for me as I am moving forward. Recognizing my blocks and then saying "I expand in abundance, success, and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same." has been a helpful tool.

This is different from the Secret. It is more than just meditating on what you want. He pairs it with action steps which is what he calls the Zone of Competence, the Zone of Excellence and the Zone of Genius. 

The Zone of Competence is where you are just fine at completing certain tasks. It still takes a lot of effort for you to do these tasks. Because it takes so much effort for you to do these things and you are doing them just at a competent level, it is probably not wise to build your life around this zone.

The Zone of Excellence are the tasks and skills that you have that you do really well. Because you do these things well, and often it is a special set of skills, you are usually recognized and well compensated for these skills. it is really tempting to stay here because you can create a nice life in the Zone of Excellence. However, and this is the kicker and it is exactly the feeling I was having without the words to name it, "a deep, sacred part of you will wither and die if you stay inside your Zone of Excellence." Perhaps this seems dramatic to you, but it is exactly the feeling I was having. 

The sacred part of you quietly asking for your attention is your Zone of Genius. Your Zone of Genius is unique to you and has a million names from other experts like Ken Robinson. It is also called your unique gift, your calling, your flow. And that's why a lotto people get stuck because they can't name what this thing is.

But you don't have to name it. It is the thing where you feel like you are in flow. And you are probably so good and natural at this thing that you take it for granted. Usually you are so much in flow you assume everyone else has this skill as well. I had a moment with one of my best friends last week where I was bragging about find my Zone of Genius, and her response was "Well, duh, you already knew that, right?"

The funny thing is that even if I had asked her years ago to name my genius, I bet she would have struggled. It is just as hard for other people to name our genius as it is for us. They are often incredibly tuned in to it and can offer wonderful clues. But don't rely on them for all the answers. 

The tricky part is that we must make the big leap from our Zone of Excellence into our Zone of Genius. It is not like taking steps on a staircase, it is a leap across a ravine to the other side. We must actively choose to do it. And often it lies on the other side of our Upper Limit Problem. 

The Call to Genius will come in strange ways. If you've experienced your Zone of Excellence it was easy to fall into it. Maybe you've been doing it for years because it's easy, comfortable and well-compensated. Maybe you've done it for so long you're not quite sure how you got so far in this. The Call to Genius starts like quiet nudges and small pulls and tugs. It rarely makes logical sense, but something about it feels satisfying. If you ignore it, over time the quiet calls turn into loud signals such as physical pain or discomfort, depression, illness, injuries and conflict in major areas of your life.

I deeply desire people to move into their Zone of Genius. I believe I am in my own Zone of Genius, and let me tell you that the water is fine and the view is great from here. But as badly as I want it for others, I know that the only person that can make the leap is you.

I actually wrote this from my Zone of Genius. I was so much in the flow that when Wix had a blip and I lost half my post and I let out an exasperated sigh. I lost my flow and had no clue what I wrote. So whatever this is was re-written from my flow. It's really something I cannot recreate because it came out without thought or effort. And I trust that it's enough and that it's right.

This book will become one of the pillars of how I think and look at my life. I see myself re-reading it over and over again to remind myself that my blocks and limits are completely self-imposed and can be self-removed. If I had a rating system, I would recommend and rate this off the charts. 11 out of 10 stars! Please go get a copy.